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cardinal dolanFresh from helping to elect the new pope, New York’s Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan hit the talk-show circuit on Easter Sunday to tell America the Church should be better about loving gay people.

No, really.

On ABC’s This Week, Dolan told George Stephanopoulos the Church needs “to do better to see that our defense of marriage is not reduced to an attack on gay people.”

Ya think?

“I admit, we haven’t been too good at that,” continued Dolan. “We try our darnedest to make sure we’re not an anti-anybody.”

Then, Stephanopoulos asked His Excellency how he’d be better about not pissing all over the gays.

“Well, the first thing I’d say to them is: ‘I love you, too. And God loves you. And you are made in God’s image and likeness. And — and we — we want your happiness,” Dolan said. “But—and you’re entitled to friendship—but we also know that God has told us that the way to happiness, that — especially when it comes to sexual love — that is intended only for a man and woman in marriage, where children can come about naturally.”

You love us? You love us like Ike loved Tina.

On CBS’ Face the Nation, Dolan reiterated that marriage is “one man, one woman,” and told Bob Schieffer that the Church’s problem isn’t one of intransigence, it’s just PR. The Vatican just needs to figure out  “how to remain faithful to what we believe are God-given, revealed, settled, unchanging principles without losing our people, who more and more question them.”

“We can try to do better in the way we present them with more credibility and in a more compelling way.”

Ooh, compelling! Like Real Housewives of Vatican City?

In his Easter sermon at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Dolan said Catholicism 2.0 is gonna blow us away. “The Church, with a capital C, is undergoing renewal, repair, resurrection—I kind of think we’re seeing it today in a particularly fresh and new way with our beloved new Holy Father.”

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